CASHIER: Ok, your total will be $16.08. Is this going to be for here or to go?
ME: (while digging out my debit card) We're going to eat here.
At this point, the teenage cashier looks up and acknowledges Chris with a polite smile. Chris's response ruined the entire perfectly normal interaction...
CHRIS: (loudly as I'm paying for our lunch) Since you're buying me lunch, does that mean that I have to put out now tonight?
ME: (through clenched teeth) Oh. My. God. WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
CHRIS: (to the cashier, complete with an awkward wave) Have a nice day!
Yes, young Dairy Queen cashier - that moment was completely mortifying for both of us, and yes, he's always that embarrassing. I'm really sorry, honey!