Friday, February 10, 2012

Fergie & Jesus

Someone (maybe it was me...) hit the snooze button too many times this morning and woke up too late for Mia to catch the bus. Someone (definitely me this time) was kind enough to drive her to school after busting ass in the daily transformation that takes us from Flock of Seagulls to Insert Name of Band With Hair That's Better Than Flock of Seagulls.

After a quick stop at the gas station for the breakfast of champions - coffee & cigarettes for me, strawberry milk & breakfast pizza for her - we were rockin' down the highway on our way to the elementary school. When I say rockin', I mean rockin'.

You know that awkward moment when you pass someone on the road and they're obviously feeling the music? You glance over. They glance over. You either pretend not to laugh, or you feel embarrassed for them. They either do a drive-by serenade, or look away in shame. I'm that lady who looks you in the eye and never misses a beat in the song while giving you a thumbs up. "Hello there, fellow traveler! Let me vogue for you as the sun slowly rises..."

I'm not exaggerating. Not only did I vogue, I also did the swim, and the robot to this song. (Yes, I am the epitome of suburban motherhood, driving my Yukon while wearing a cardigan, doing those dance moves to that song. In my defense though, I don't know how to pop or lock.) Mia loved it so much I had to tell her to calm down before she shot strawberry milk out of her nose.

It's a short drive to the school. Maybe 3 songs worth of drive time would be my guess. Once the school was in our line of sight one of my all-time top jams came on. 



If the morning commute had a karaoke contest, I would've won the top prize today. I did my best Bowie impersonation, only to have Mia tell me as I pull up to the school "Mommy, stop singing. You're gonna give me nightmares."

I gave her the raised eyebrow and informed her that I had a voice that sounds like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. My awesome movie reference was completely lost on this genius 6 year old. If I'd said my singing abilities rank up there with Beethoven's composing abilities, maybe she would've giggled. Instead, I got an impatient eye roll. "Love ya, Mom. Bye!"

I happen to have a perfectly nice singing voice. THANKYOUVERYMUCH Mia!

Marlee, on the other hand, begged me later this afternoon to sing. "Yowda! Sing yowda!" when this one came on. How could I refuse? I spoil these kids sometimes.

ME: Hey Mar, do you like when Mommy sings?
MARLEE: Yup! You know all da words!
ME: Who does Mom sound like when she sings?
MARLEE: Tayyer Swif! Oh, and you sound yike Mommy too!
ME: Aw! Hey, do you think I sound like a cross between Fergie & Jesus, Boo?
MARLEE: Yet's not talk about dat...

What do you do that embarrasses  your loved ones? Tell me I'm not alone in my love for the Commuter Concert sessions.

5 comments:

  1. Uhm... Fergie rocks. Not just because she's wicked cool but the fact that she's married to Josh Duhamel ain't nothing to sneeze at (he's one of my three celebrity give me's). Although, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around Fergie combined with Jesus.. They would have fabulous hair, for sure..

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  2. I just asked my kids (8 and 6) and they both said I haven't done anything that embarrasses them. I'm a parenting failure! LOL

    But I can say you’re not alone in your Commuter Concert sessions. Alone or with on-board prisoners, I'm always jammin' in the car, and I'm not talking about some amateur performance of "Superstar"; full-fledged body-writhing, fist-pumping, head-banging performances that make passing motorists contemplate between dialing 911 to report a lady in a silver Durango having a seizure at the wheel, or surfing stations to figure out which kick-ass song is behind such an enthusiastic performance. And the very best part of it all, my daughter is in the seat right behind me belting out the lyrics at the top of her lungs.

    My youngest, whose musical tastes vary greatly from those of my daughter and mine, typically sits back and endures the chaos as best he can. However, I was happily surprised to see him joining in our Caraoke session on the way to Wal-Mart last night.

    As I watched him climb into his bunk bed later that evening I jokingly commented on how awful my singing was. Being the sweet boy he is, he said, “Meh… You sing pretty good, just not good enough to be on the radio or something.”

    That’s my boy, keeping my ego in check since 2005!

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  3. So let me just start out by saying, you do have a pretty good singing voice. Fergie & Jesus...well that's just to deep, especially while singing Bowie! I know you love him...but I can't put him in the same category as the Stones or Aerosmith....now that would be Fergie & Jesus!

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  4. I totally do the rocking out in the car thing. Fortunately, though, with my eldest being just 4 years old and sitting way in the back of the van, I don't embarrass him...yet. That time will come, I'm sure! Fergie and Jesus? Here's where I admit just how uncool I am cause I have no idea what movie that reference is from!?

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  5. I always thought the reason to have children was to embarrass them? Is this not true? Let see: When Cole was little it was a I could do it without actually thinking about it! I was born with a HUGE embarrass your child gene! :D Sing loud and sing proud Jen!!

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